I wake smothered in terrorizing fear. This is a sign of being disconnected. I feel disconnected from God. Why do I keep isolating myself? Why do I try to accomplish the day on my own? I know that I cannot, so why do I even attempt to be strong? As I have learned, I am a lifeless and frail body without the Lord powering me through. I must give Him my all, absolutely everything. I cannot "play it safe" anymore. I must take the giant leap of faith.
I need to trust. I need to trust that He is standing on the other side of this storm. I need to trust that He will never, ever let me fall. He never let go of me before, and He won't let me go now. He's not going to let you go either.
No matter how desperately I long to go home and be with Jesus, I must stay here. Just a little longer, then I'll be with Him. I dream of that day; when I can touch His face and hear His heartbeat. I cannot wait to hold His hands and skip with Him. Soon... Soon enough...
Until then, He's got a map for my life. He knows the outcomes. When I try so franticly to see it, He assures me that it's perfect. It's going to be perfect when I've done all I'm destined to achieve through Him. "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11)
There is hope. I must keep faith that there is hope. Don't give into the lies. Jesus loves you immensely. He's preparing a place just for you. This place will be so lovely and astonishing. There is no sorrow or hurt in that place. Soon we will be able to enjoy this place. All you need to do is take His hand and be completely reckless! Go for it! Take the plunge! Go spread His word shamelessly! Be a warrior for Christ!
-The Introverted Evangelist