Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Separation Anxiety

   Well over a year ago, I experienced a very traumatic event that forever changed me. It not only changed the way I live my everyday life, but it also affected my feelings towards being alone. That dreadful Friday evening I was abandoned, or so I though. Turns out I had unlocked a treasury of marvelous Presence. The Lord was closer than ever.

   I would've never believed that such an awful time in my life could've turned into something so beautiful. But, God likes to make beauty out of ashes, doesn't He? Ah, He never ceases to surprise me in the most delightful ways.

   However, that experience did leave it's own share of scars. I now face a fear of being alone, but I know I'm not ever really alone. I know that the Lord is always by my side. I know from personal experience that even when the going gets tough, and I feel abandoned or forgotten, my Father holds me close.

   I've discovered the most satisfying Well of Truths. I have unleashed a brand new perspective on things. I can now see that He has, in fact, always been with me. And, to top it all off, He wants for me to lean on Him. The Lord is filled with joy and gladness. His heart is kind, though I am a mess. I know I am secured right here, right now, so I will never have a doubt. I am not alone.

   I wrote that so that I can always assure myself of the truth, and the truth is I'm not ever going to be abandoned. It's impossible for me to be abandoned, because my Father is always with me. He tells us that in the Bible!

   "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." (Deuteronomy 31:8)

   Seriously, could there have been a more perfect verse? Isn't it grand the way God reveals Himself to us? It never lets me down, that's for certain! He is so good. My heart is overloaded in joyous courage. I know who I am; I am His. I know my name, for my name is daughter of the King over all!

   Abba, Father, hear me. Your child longs to be with You. Abba, hear my cry, all I want and all I need is found in YOU. My security is in YOU, not my circumstances. Circumstances are ever-changing, but YOU are everlasting, never-changing. This is where I put my faith, in YOU.

   Abba, Father, hear Your children pleading. We only want to know You more and more. We only want to be held in Your arms, where we know we're safe. We can say with a fearless attitude, "I am never, ever abandoned. The Lord is with me always."

   -The Introverted Evangelist

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Shelter in the Storm Song

   I trust in You, Father. 
I know that I am safe in You. 
I believe that You are greater than the storms that rage. 
Though the wind blows and rainfalls extravagantly, the Lord is my shelter.

   Thunder crashes all around, and bolts of light still abound. 
But I will not fear, for the Lord my Shepherd is always near. 
My heart is set on trusting in You, and I know that You will see me through. 
I will always have this delight, because I am safe throughout the night.

   The Lord is loving, caring and pure. His protection is for sure. 
Let Him hold you safe and sound, and feel His grace all around. 
Whisper of His gentle voice allow me to still rejoice. 
Father, I know I'm secured right here.

   -The Introverted Evangelist

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Whenever I Stumble

   When Your light shines upon my face, I can feel the warmth of Your love. The animals sing songs of praise to their mighty Creator. The water rushing seems to cry tears of joyfulness. Here I am Lord, Your little lamb. I am ready to be swept away by Your abounding, compassionate, love.

   The world around me is full of grief, but in You I find my shelter. In You, God, I am hidden. I will bury myself inside of You. I will cling to my Father's hand, and in Him I hear His thoughts towards me. The enemies snarl and grasp for me, but my Lord is my protection.

   I never want to leave. I never want to ever depart again. The life within my soul shines because my God has saved me. He renewed my hope, and established my ways. He tells me what is good and pure and trustworthy.

   "This is what the Lord says- your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: 'I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.'" (Isaiah 48:17)

   He teaches me what is best. The thing about teaching is that it's a process. You cannot learn a skill or any sort of formula the very first time you hear it. It takes a little bit of time to understand. It requires learning from mistakes.

   Whatever it is today that's getting you down, take it to the cross. There you will find unfailing mercy. The Lord will pick you up and walk you through the steps again with love and compassion and beautiful grace.

   The Lord is patient with us. Whenever we stumble He doesn't condemn us, but instead He caresses our wounds with His warming kindness. Trust in all that He is - kind, patient, loving, merciful, and full of joy.

   -The Introverted Evangelist

Saturday, October 19, 2013

This Renewed Understanding

   My eyes are filled, they're filled with tears of joy and gratitude. This love I find in the Father is so pure. It's never ending and never failing. It hasn't given up on me, even though the road has been rough and often painful. Through all of the hurt, I know I can press into my Savior.

   With all my might I cry out and plead for a hand to grasp, only to find I'm already being held in His arms. Love so deep it erodes the fears. Intimacy so pure it changes my heart's desires. Now all I want it to be with my God.

   Renewed vision of who You are, Father, gives me more reasons to fully trust in You than I could ever count. I know why there is an awful roadblock. It is because my enemy wants to keep me from You, Father. He wants to stop me from praising You and living for You.

   The very thought of being kept from You tears me up and breaks my heart. I never want anything else but Your presence filling my being. Please don't ever let this longing leave. Don't ever let this passionate light stop burning within my soul. 

   I will shine until the day this soul departs to be there with You, my God. And once I've lived all my days here on earth, I'll live right there with You more joyfully than ever before. Let this life be unleashed from within me. I will live! I will live for the Lord, and no power can stop me! It's time to demonstrate my love for the Lord, and live in trust. Here I go!

   -The Introverted Evangelist

Friday, October 18, 2013

Endless Wonder

   I am constantly in awe of God. Sometimes I sound like a broken record going on and on about how much I cherish the relationship I have with Him, but I don't mind one bit. The way I see it, as long as my heart is beating, it's beating for Christ.

   Everyday comes as a mystery to us, but not to the Lord. He will provide for us. I know so much more than I did about who He is, but there is still a vast amount of knowledge yet to be discovered. Each day holds the opportunity to get to know Him more and more.

   The future is utterly unknown, but my God is fully faithful. Fear is frivolous, and trust is vital. Each step we take in faith is accompanied by a strong, loving Lord. It may seem like I've written all of these things before, but it has come to my attention that there is a truly endless treasure chest of wonders found in He who is the one and only YHWH.

   It's hard to find the right words sometimes, because in His presence I'm often speechless. Struck with awe and completely compelled to glorify Him. Sometimes the words that we are familiar with just don't cut it. There must be a different language. A pure praise-filled language created solely for those moments, but I have yet to discover this glorious sensation.

   "For he who speaks in a tongue does not speak to men but to God, for no one understands him; however, in the spirit he speaks mysteries." (1 Corinthians 14:2)

   The word mysteries here is used to depict what is unrevealed, something that is unknown, or something which is unknown to human reason and only truly known by the Lord's revelation. The truths of Christianity that are yet to be revealed is called the mystery of faith.

   Faith is a mystery, and it's unfolding before us everyday. His ways are marvelously secret to our current understanding. He is so great and so wondrous. Bask in the Lord's endless wonder! May the glory of the Lord inhabit your every thought.

   -The Introverted Evangelist

Thursday, October 17, 2013

The Morning Song

   He came to set us free. He came so that the proper penalty of sin would be removed from us. He saved us from death. He paid our ransom. He gave us life. Glory and honor to the Lamb of God! Shout out His goodness!

   In the morning I arise and turn my head up toward the skies. My heart is replenished with hope at once. The Father looks at me and He smiles. Shortly after my eyes are opened, I lavish my admiration upon the Shepherd. He delights in me and I rejoice in His peaceful Presence.

   A cool autumn breeze rushes through the bright golden leaves. All of the earth seems to declare His marvelous works. Thank You, Father. You are everywhere. I only want to breathe You in continually. I never want to leave Your presence. I am energized and refreshed when I'm with You. My everything, Lord, is You.

   You've covered me with Your grace. You've cleansed me from all of my unrighteous ways. My heart sings for You, and my soul longs for You. You are so pure, so good, and so great. I love You, Lord Jesus, I will never stop praising You.

   -The Introverted Evangelist

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Zoe Glow - Life Within

   "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." (John 10:10)

   Doesn't reading this excite you? Doesn't it just open up your eyes? Can't you just feel the sheet being lifted from your face? The devil just wants to take us down, but the Lord gives us life.

   The day you were saved, a powerful source of life was planted inside of you. This life has guaranteed you a permanent home in Heaven, and eternal life with Christ Jesus our Lord. The true source of abundant and everlasting life and joy is radiating within us all. The ultimate life of God is established in each and every one of His children.

   This life called zoe, is the life that is to come. It's the spiritual life of deliverance from what our sin would have brought upon us. If not for Jesus's sacrifice, we would've been doomed to eternal misery and death. But praise the Lord that is not the case, we are filled with life!

   Zoe is not only our promised eternal life spent with our Savior, but it's also the vitality that radiates from within us. This zoe is what people see inside of us. It's our contagious Jesus Joy.

   "We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body." (2 Corinthians 4:10)

   We are saved by His life. We are blessed with peace and a shining joy because of His life. Embrace this, your zoe glow. God bless you.

   -The Introverted Evangelist

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Ἀβιά Father

   My heart is filled with delight when I'm with You. I am overwhelmed with Your grace, God. You are my everything, and all that I am belongs to You, Father.

   Father. Anything I have on this earth could be destroyed, but I will never be alone. I will always have a home in Christ my Lord. Yahweh is my Home. Yahweh is my Lord. Yahweh is my heart's desire. Yahweh is my Father. Ἀβιά.

   I found this gem in my Hebrew-Greek study bible. Abia: my father is Yahweh. No matter what, Yahweh is my father. No matter how far, I'm home in Him. Yahweh loves me. Yahweh invites me into His arms. I'm family, I'm home.

   Maybe you need to know that you are not forgotten. You're not abandoned. Despite whatever the world tells you, Yahweh is here. "Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you." (Isaiah 60:1)

   If you've never been able to call people "family", you need to know that God calls you His child. Father, Abia. "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling." (Psalms 68:5)

   "And do not call anyone on earth 'father', for you have one Father, and he is in heaven." (Matthew 23:9)

   You're safe here, right here in Yahweh, our Father. Come and experience His protection. Trust in His lovingkindness. Giving your all to pursue Him, it feels so good. Jumping out into His arms, with unwavering faith, that's freedom.

   Don't listen to the voice that tells you that you're and orphan, because our Father is Yahweh. Don't listen to the voice that tells you you're trapped, because the door is opened. Jesus opened that cage up for your freedom. Our Savior has come, and we are victorious by the blood of the Lamb!

Monday, October 14, 2013

Yôḥānān - Yahweh is Gracious

   Sometimes when it's storming, we feel closest to God. Sometimes when we're hurting, His grace is poured out on us even more freely than we imagine. Come Yahweh, come fill us with Your peace. Peace has come down upon us.

   Once we think we've experienced His most gracious Presence, He surprises us with more love and more mercy. Yôḥānān - Yahweh is gracious. Hebrew: יוֹחָנָן

   In the prison of fear, there in my worry-cage, I turn my head towards my Father in Heaven. His smile gives me hope. I feel a renewed courage blooming within me. Father, You make all things new.

   You took me, a dedicated worrier, and transformed me. Now I am a passionate daughter of the King. I run my faith race with intense focus on the finish line. The prize to obtain is spending my eternity with You, my heart's ultimate desire.

   You are beautiful and pure, Lord. Your name is holy. Your name is our every breath. YHWH. I want to breathe in Your presence. In with Your peace, out with Your love. You are the Great I Am, Father. You are my everything.

   On this grey and dreary day, look to the Light and sing praise. "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace." (Numbers 6:24-26)

   -The Introverted Evangelist

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Knowing His Love and Trusting It

   "For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:21) I'd not lived before I lived for Him and through Him. All of me belongs to the Lord. It's only acceptable to completely abandon my fears and trust

   Every moment spent with Him is cherished and treasured not only by the sheep, but also by the Shepherd Himself. He delights in His sheep. "the Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love." (Psalms 147:11)

   When we put our faith in Him, the Loving Shepherd, He takes pleasure in us. It overjoys the Lord when we exhibit our trust in Him. It doesn't exasperate God to comfort us continually. We are His! He loves us dearly!

   "For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord's." (Romans 14:8)

   Because we are the Lord's sheep, and He is a good, pure, loving Shepherd, should we not thrust out fear and doubt to live completely freed? Don't you think our Shepherd longs to see our chains broken, and to see His sheep running free? He certainly does! He gave His only Son so that we may be free from the bondages of sin and worry.

   "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." (Galatians 2:20)

   A love so deep and so perfect, that He died for us. There is no other love so pure. He laid His life down so that we could lay down our burdens. And for us to live in the shadow of the cross which is freedom, abundant life, and eternal life, He paid the price.

   How could we not trust in the One that is Love? How could we look at such divine love and still manage to convince ourselves otherwise? God truly cares about what troubles us, so trust in Him. Let go of your fears. Nail your anxieties to the cross.

   Do you feel the chains being torn off? Doesn't the sound of the prison gates swinging open energize your soul? Get up and shout it out for all to hear, "I've been set free! The Lord, my Shepherd, He has rescued me!"

   Don't be quiet about His unfailing love. Tell everyone, at all times. Praise the Lord for the freedom we gain when we loosen our clenched fists, and just let go of fear. He surely loves us, and He clearly cares enough to take care of them for us. Once again I'll say, trust Him.

   Lord, thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you that I can fully trust you with everything. Today I make the choice to live in the freedom you purchased for me. I have nothing to fret over, because I am your child. There is no condemnation, nothing to fear, and nothing in the way of your love for me. So today I stand here ready to experience the glory of your great love. I'm ready to be radically filled with your grace. Thank you that your love will never run out on me, and I never have to worry about you giving up on me. It's in your beautiful name I pray, Jesus, Amen.

   -The Introverted Evangelist

Monday, October 7, 2013


   These words are like fiery arrows to my heart. The roaring is deafening, for it's become a constant clamor in the back of my head, torturing me continually. My bones crack beneath the heavy load of all these burdens. The luggage of my hurt is hindering my joyfulness. Only the enemy steals joy.

   I don't want to listen. It pains me to listen to him lie to me all day. I miss being so wrapped in God's gracious whispers that nothing could derail my peace in His promises. I loathe what I'm swaddled in right now - fleshly distractions.

   Whatever happened to the one that only longed for her heavenly Father's hand underneath her stumbling feet? Where did the sheep with a craving to be under His wing go? I want to be a sheep again. I don't want to think I can handle things on my own, because I can't. I can't defeat the devil with my own words, and I certainly can't say no to the prideful ways myself. These sorts of battles require divine intervention.

   I must never lose sight of where I was and how I got there, and more importantly how I got out of there. I must never be in the slightest less dependent upon my Lord. I know that there is no me without Him. I know there is no joy without the Prince of peace, and there is no strength without the God Almighty holding me.

   But these distractions. Oh my how they're toxic. They are poison to the person. Person. Pride. Petty people's prideful passions. Prideful passions. I hate despise my prideful passions. I need to rid myself of them all before they start to choke my soul.

   What sort of wretched life it would be to live in my old sinful wants. I don't want to listen, and I don't want to obey the seething voice. I don't want to wander again. I don't ever want to live further away from my Father.

   The One who was there for me, He is still here. The One that never gave up on me, He still hasn't. The God that loved me still loves me perfectly, and the Lord that lifted me up then says He makes me stand on my high places. The King of kings is more powerful than the sins that taunt me. YHWH is worthy of all my praise and all of my attention, not my selfish ways.

   Say His name, YHWH. Sing it with love and affection, YHWH. Shout it out, so that all you hear is... YHWH. Whisper whenever peace is needed, YHWH. Call upon Him, and He is faithful to come to you. YHWH.

   "When I cry out to You, Then my enemies will turn back; This I know, because God is for me." (Psalms 56:9)

   If God is for me, then why wouldn't I trust Him fully? Trust like crazy! Trust in the daytime, and trust in the nightfall. Trust when I'm doing well, and trust Him when the fever wont go down. Trust is a lifestyle and a duty. Trust is worship and trust is beautiful. God rejoices when we finally say, "Okay Lord, I can't do this anymore. I'm giving all these burdens to You. You've given me more than enough proof that I can trust You completely."

   Kick the devil's distractions to the curb, and turn on laser-focus. Set your eyes on the faithful God who is right before us all. Declare your trust in Him and all He has done for us, then go and trust, trust, trust! I promise He won't let you down. After all, when was the last time God messed up? ... That's what I thought.

   -The Introverted Evangelist

Thursday, October 3, 2013

The Lessons Learned

   It was a long, hard day. I'd cried out every last tear, so much so that I felt I couldn't cry anymore, but I did. My heart was shattered. I'd lost everything, or so I thought. As the night went on things seemed to get worse. Cold and lonely, I felt something. Something comforting and hopeful, I felt the Lord. He was with me in the middle of my misery. I was not alone after all.

   Day after day I was paralyzed with fear, but each night brought a renewed courage to make it through. I was desperate for peace, and in my desperation came the Lord's provision. He is so faithful. He was and He constantly still is.

   The meaning. The meaning of all my tears and suffering I now understand, it's because I was so far, but now I'm in His own hand. I wouldn't change the pain for anything. What happened in that place was far more than what it seemed at the time. A precious bond was formed with the Lord. A brand new sense of belonging placed into my heart.

   The passion within me, it burns day and night. When I awake in the darkest hours of the night, I can feel Him all around me pouring His love out upon my heart. He has blessed me with so much. I know that all that I am and all that I've overcome, is solely because of in Whom I trust. There is no other way but through Him.

   Now that I see that it was all perfectly meant to be, I can confidently declare that my God is completely worthy of my trust. But if what He showed me that July wasn't enough, He has continued to be faithful through every tribulation. 
   What a truly loving Lord. I will bow down and confess with all of my heart, You are the Lord of all Love. You are my heart's desire. For all of my days I will love You. For all of my days I will shout praise to You. You are holy and You reign over all.

   -The Introverted Evangelist