These words are like fiery arrows to my heart. The roaring is deafening, for it's become a constant clamor in the back of my head, torturing me continually. My bones crack beneath the heavy load of all these burdens. The luggage of my hurt is hindering my joyfulness. Only the enemy steals joy.

   I don't want to listen. It pains me to listen to him lie to me all day. I miss being so wrapped in God's gracious whispers that nothing could derail my peace in His promises. I loathe what I'm swaddled in right now - fleshly distractions.

   Whatever happened to the one that only longed for her heavenly Father's hand underneath her stumbling feet? Where did the sheep with a craving to be under His wing go? I want to be a sheep again. I don't want to think I can handle things on my own, because I can't. I can't defeat the devil with my own words, and I certainly can't say no to the prideful ways myself. These sorts of battles require divine intervention.

   I must never lose sight of where I was and how I got there, and more importantly how I got out of there. I must never be in the slightest less dependent upon my Lord. I know that there is no me without Him. I know there is no joy without the Prince of peace, and there is no strength without the God Almighty holding me.

   But these distractions. Oh my how they're toxic. They are poison to the person. Person. Pride. Petty people's prideful passions. Prideful passions. I hate despise my prideful passions. I need to rid myself of them all before they start to choke my soul.

   What sort of wretched life it would be to live in my old sinful wants. I don't want to listen, and I don't want to obey the seething voice. I don't want to wander again. I don't ever want to live further away from my Father.

   The One who was there for me, He is still here. The One that never gave up on me, He still hasn't. The God that loved me still loves me perfectly, and the Lord that lifted me up then says He makes me stand on my high places. The King of kings is more powerful than the sins that taunt me. YHWH is worthy of all my praise and all of my attention, not my selfish ways.

   Say His name, YHWH. Sing it with love and affection, YHWH. Shout it out, so that all you hear is... YHWH. Whisper whenever peace is needed, YHWH. Call upon Him, and He is faithful to come to you. YHWH.

   "When I cry out to You, Then my enemies will turn back; This I know, because God is for me." (Psalms 56:9)

   If God is for me, then why wouldn't I trust Him fully? Trust like crazy! Trust in the daytime, and trust in the nightfall. Trust when I'm doing well, and trust Him when the fever wont go down. Trust is a lifestyle and a duty. Trust is worship and trust is beautiful. God rejoices when we finally say, "Okay Lord, I can't do this anymore. I'm giving all these burdens to You. You've given me more than enough proof that I can trust You completely."

   Kick the devil's distractions to the curb, and turn on laser-focus. Set your eyes on the faithful God who is right before us all. Declare your trust in Him and all He has done for us, then go and trust, trust, trust! I promise He won't let you down. After all, when was the last time God messed up? ... That's what I thought.

   -The Introverted Evangelist


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